you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
