There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
