You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
