just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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