I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
