At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
