ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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