Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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