I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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