She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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