someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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