His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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