STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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