Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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