Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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