like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
