there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just googled if crying burns calories
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
