It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
