I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
