dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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