I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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