I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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