i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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