its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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