Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
