Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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