i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my shit smells like andre
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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