R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
