ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
