thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
