it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
