No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
