I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
