all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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