I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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