remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
