butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
