Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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