how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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