Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize