Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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