Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize