Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Semen is not good for contacts.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
