that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
