Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize