walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
