She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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