i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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