Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What a dumb baby whore.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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