Ambien. No doubt about it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
