i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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