Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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