every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
