Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
