Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
