Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
