i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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