so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
