Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
