I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize