you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
