Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
