Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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