Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
