true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
