The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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