Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
