What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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